Yesterday was our first water table/hose day. Hard to tell here but Cal lost one of his front teeth! You know what Cal tells me when he loses a tooth? "Here mom, you take this. I'm afraid of the tooth fairy so just put this in my room without me knowing and I'll be surprised when the money is there." The things I do for my kids.
Seth relished spraying the other boys!
Technically, this summer should be a good one. The boys are old enough to play on their own at the pool with my eagle eye watching and generally play outside on their own too...although Seth rode his ice cream truck into the street today - so maybe not! We haven't tried it yet, but the beach might also be "more do-able" this year. I got to sit and watch while the boys played in the water table and had great fun spraying each other, ratcheting up my water bill at the same time. So I should be excited for the summer right?! Well, there are a few catches...this summer my main missions are as follows:1. Get stubborn Ben to ride a two-wheel bike
2. Get stubborn Ben to learn to swim
3. Potty train crazed, almost 3-year-old, independent Seth
Really? Could anyone have anything worse than those three things on their summer to-do list? Ok, ok. I know there's a lot worse but this does pose a challenge for this mom and I'm wondering what my success rate will be? I'm hoping 100%. Although, until today I thought this might possibly be the worst summer ever. When Ben gets it in his head that he doesn't want to do something, he doesn't. We've been discussing the bike for awhile now. He's actually gotten on it and tried a few times (read exactly 3). This week I decided to hunker down because I REALLY didn't want to spend the entire summer crying, fighting, and whining about this damn bike. Now, you may ask, what's the big deal? So the kid doesn't want to ride the bike, so what?, leave him alone. Nope. There are a few things that I DO NOT subscribe to that philosophy for and they are: 1) sleeping 2) bike riding and 3) swimming. We play by my rules and I say it's time to learn without training wheels. You may think that's cruel but you ain't seen nothing yet.
So even though I know that Ben is beyond bribing, I try it anyway. I pull out ALL the stops. I literally buy the toys he covets and I put them before him. He can physically SEE the toys and I tell him, you go out and give that bike a good effort, you get a toy. The toys range from small, smallish, larger. (Zhu Zhu pet clothes, Cars trouble game, Razor scooter). Seriously, who's kid can resist that kind of temptation. Ben can, so apparently he's gunning for a career as a saint. He didn't care, he wanted "none of it". Ok, chocolate, candy, ice cream sunday...no, no, and NO! I even threatened to take away his other bike WITH the training wheels but reneged on that threat because you see, he LOVES riding his bike and he'd have so much fun out with Dad and Cal if he could keep up better...like on a two-wheel bike. But nothing is working, I can't teach him to ride the bike if I can't even get him on it.
Then one day, he accidentally overhears a phone message I leave for his former swim instructor named JJ. When he realizes I'm calling about swim lessons, Ben goes off-the-charts ballistic. He fears this guy and the swim lessons more than anything. That night he's even crying in his bed at the thought of it and instantly my mind hatches out a plan. So I sneakily say, "Ok, I won't schedule any swim lessons (and I won't) if you ride your bike". Oh, it's like making a deal with the devil. I'm so, so evil. But he stops crying and agrees. Yes, the bike is the lesser of the two evils, he'll go with that. And true to his word, he got on that bike today and gave it his best try, multiple tries! But the biggest triumph comes from Ben being SO proud that he did it! He was giggling and wanting to do it again! So I'm not so evil after all :) He hasn't gotten the hang of it yet but he's excited to show Cal and dad that he's trying and "almost" there. He also got his Zhu Zhu pet clothes as a reward for the good effort.
What will happen with the swimming lessons? Well, for some reason unknown to me, Ben has a special fear of this one guy JJ. I figure I'll wait until later in the summer or maybe until after he learns to ride the bike and hope that a 4-year-old can make the connection that sometimes things that SEEM scary aren't so bad once you try them. Maybe he can try swimming with dad instead.
Ben singing at his preschool graduation ceremony. His award: "Best dressed in the dramatic play area" Mmm hmm...are those high heels?
I'm sure by now several friends and my entire book club is wondering what the hell I'm even doing with a dog. I've expressed my woes and sometimes utter hatred for her (although I do love her too) during too many conversations at this point. We finally decided to take some serious action. We took down all the doggy gates and have proceeded to let her roam the house...on a leash. So far, I have to say, the results have been phenomenal. She hasn't peed once and she was much less crazy about toys than I thought she'd be. We might actually get a house-trained dog one of these days!!!! 
In a rare moment when Seth is wearing his helmet. We fight multiple times a day for him to wear it. He's already banged his head more times than I can count and it's a rule: No helmet then no bike or scooter. Oh and my lovely flowers!!!
Seth displaying a Lego tower he built all by himself.Around April of this year, I decided (again) that it was time to take action. I'd been noticing that Seth wasn't growing (height or weight) and I was starting to feel that little prick of panic that moms get when you feel like something might not be quite right. Aside from the fact that for as long as I can remember my son wakes up in the morning like a beast with a temper tantrum and no one can console him but me. My main goal was always to calm him enough so that he'd eat something and so I could try to get the other boys off to school. Usually if we could get through breakfast then we'd be ok.
Anyway, I consulted google and thought well, maybe it's celiac disease. Isn't everyone allergic to wheat - gluten free is the way to be! I have no basis for this other than he's not growing and he's irritable. I take him to the doctor anyway. Immediately, I get confirmation that I may not be making this shit up. The doctor studies his height chart, takes the measurement again, and says, "Well, he hasn't grown at all in 6 months and that IS an indication that something is wrong." Woo hoo, mom is not a psychopath. Then he says, "Maybe we should check him for celiac's." Again, ding ding ding. Not crazy! But as it turns out...after 4 vials of blood and NO crying later, he has neither celiac disease, a thyroid condition, or anemia. Our only other options now are to wait it out and see if he grows or possible go to a pediatric endocrinologist to see if he has a rare growth hormone thing.
However, since April, I am happy to report that Seth has gained 2.5 pounds which is akin to a mini-miracle in our household. We haven't checked his height since then but I'm guessing it's probably making it's way upward. Good news there. Until...I don't know, a month ago maybe, Seth started waking up screaming, crying and carrying on at night. Sometimes he wouldn't even fall asleep until 10-11pm. I ignored him until it started to become dangerous. You see, we put a gate on his door otherwise he'd never stay in his room and I do not have the wherewithal to keep putting him back in. Uniquely, Seth's room sitting adjacent to the stairwell and he was able to climb his gate and grip the ledge of the half wall...meaning on the other side was the stairwell and a really long and treacherous drop should he ever decide to step atop his gate and fling himself over. I figure he might not realize it and it's a possibility. So for one night I have to sit/lay/stand in his room until he falls asleep. It takes hours and it's miserable for me. At one point I even let him come in my room to try and sleep (I can hear the gasps now) which anyone who knows me, knows this has NEVER once happened ever with any of the other kids. It doesn't matter anyway because after 20 mins he asks to go back to his own bed but won't let ME leave. After fixing the gate so he can no longer climb it, we have to endure a week or so (it felt never-ending) of tantrums. These happened when he was put to bed for however long it took him to fall asleep and since Seth has never slept through the night without at least waking once, he's now screaming whenever he wakes up too. Formerly, he'd just get up and open his door or turn the light on and go back to bed...now it was a full-fledged assault in the middle of the night.
However, since April, I am happy to report that Seth has gained 2.5 pounds which is akin to a mini-miracle in our household. We haven't checked his height since then but I'm guessing it's probably making it's way upward. Good news there. Until...I don't know, a month ago maybe, Seth started waking up screaming, crying and carrying on at night. Sometimes he wouldn't even fall asleep until 10-11pm. I ignored him until it started to become dangerous. You see, we put a gate on his door otherwise he'd never stay in his room and I do not have the wherewithal to keep putting him back in. Uniquely, Seth's room sitting adjacent to the stairwell and he was able to climb his gate and grip the ledge of the half wall...meaning on the other side was the stairwell and a really long and treacherous drop should he ever decide to step atop his gate and fling himself over. I figure he might not realize it and it's a possibility. So for one night I have to sit/lay/stand in his room until he falls asleep. It takes hours and it's miserable for me. At one point I even let him come in my room to try and sleep (I can hear the gasps now) which anyone who knows me, knows this has NEVER once happened ever with any of the other kids. It doesn't matter anyway because after 20 mins he asks to go back to his own bed but won't let ME leave. After fixing the gate so he can no longer climb it, we have to endure a week or so (it felt never-ending) of tantrums. These happened when he was put to bed for however long it took him to fall asleep and since Seth has never slept through the night without at least waking once, he's now screaming whenever he wakes up too. Formerly, he'd just get up and open his door or turn the light on and go back to bed...now it was a full-fledged assault in the middle of the night.
After adjusting his napping (ie not letting him nap), he was falling asleep easily and eventually not screaming when he woke up at night. This whole ordeal made me wonder though - why is waking up so much at night. One night I spent with him, he must have slightly woken at least 50 times in one hour! And then I witnessed one sleep apnea event and thought that's it! The snoring, the tossing and turning, the getting up...we're getting those tonsils out!! Well, that's my foregone conclusion anyway. We have an appointment with the same ENT that took out Ben's so it's officially TBD. I'll post an update.
Brotherly love
I wish Market Basket would stop giving out these stickers! I've been at the gym more than ever which translates into reading lots. I'm managed to read 26 books since the beginning of the year but haven't been able to budge the scale even 8 ounces! What the hell?! Five pounds is harder to lose than you think - you have to burn 3500 EXTRA calories. Here's a few things I've learned in the reading process and the books that inspired these thoughts:
1. Becoming an alcoholic is easier than you might think. On some days, I think I could do it.
Lit: A Memoir by Mary Karr
2. Music is the source of SO many memories. Who doesn't remember making a mix tape with Casey Casum at the beginning or end of a song? Who doesn't know exactly where they were and what they were doing the summer (insert song here) came out?
Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield
3. I wish Sookie Stackhouse were my best friend.
Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris
4. For a type A personality like me, being a mother is the ONLY thing I can have on my plate right now because I'm working at that 110%, so stop beating myself up about all the stuff I'm NOT doing/being.
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
5. Teach your kid to play an instrument.
Also Battle Hymn...
